Butterfly fly away

A year ago my life changed, the most radical form in which life can change.
My foundation collapsed and my single small area of security was gone.
How to build from scratch? Perennial Nothing around me.
All concepts of life became "negotiable."

It is distressing to try to hide my desolation in the eyes of my children as witnesses.
It is disappointing to discover the limitations of friends at this time that both need.
Sad to support parents (alive or dead) at the time when one needs to be sustained.

Where to start? Where to go? These are big questions that I thought to have resolved at this point in my life

It hurts, I thought the pain would start to decline but I was wrong. Now there is no confusion the pain is felt loud and clear. It isn´t the pain of a broken heart. Is the pain of what could be and was not. I wonder how long I will go with that feeling (it seems amputee syndrome).

I cried a lot, I am always amazed at my incredible ability to mourn. Crying works as an escape valve ....... unzip, remove pressure.

The good news is that now I'm not paralyzed .... I keep moving.... I'm not sure where but I do not sit still

I know what I don´t want (as it plays the music of Pit Bull in my head). Not much but is a start, and I will see as something positive because it's all I have.

Today I heard on the radio that perhaps is better to be worm a long life, to be a butterfly for a short time
I choose to be a butterfly ...... ........

I want my butterfly time even if it lasts only a moment